The Covergirl: 2 Tips for "Hiding" Flaws in Your Walls
It was orange. Like Orange is the New Black kind of orange, with large, colorful polka dots scattered across a white border, glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceilings and walls – some dangling from clear thread stuck to the ceiling with tape, and a Scripture verse thickly hand painted around the top of said border.
Obviously it had been a child’s room, but that fact did not make me feel any less assaulted by it. We’d just moved into #therobertleerobinsonhouse and my brother-in-law and another friend were coming to live with us for a few weeks, one of whom would be staying in this room. And so the orange and stars and polka dots just had to go. At least I felt that they did.
The guys said they didn’t care about the color but let me tell you one thing I’ve learned in life. When a man tells you he doesn’t care about something, it’s not that he really doesn’t care. It’s just that he doesn’t realize it yet. The one thing I haven’t quite figured out though, is why I am so hell bent on creating more work for myself by proving to them that they do.
I think part of it is so that I can create a pretty space, but part of it is also the satisfaction of hearing them tell me unsolicited how much better a space feels after we’ve fixed it up or even tell me multiple times how much they hate a color I’ve chosen. I may not say the words “I told you so” but that doesn’t mean it isn’t written across my face. I mean, I am only human after all.
So off to the paint store I went to pick up a paint I’d chosen based off a picture I’d seen in a catalog (not my usual method, but this color had grabbed my imagination like thorns in a thicket and I just had to try it.)
The obnoxious paint and crazy polka dots and stars were not this gaudy lady’s only flaws. She also possessed a shoddy sheetrock job with multiple indentations and even some bowing in the ceiling and trim that’d seen too many layers of paint. It looked like she’d just kept applying new layers of makeup without ever removing the old. Not pretty.
So, like a woman masking her body by wearing all black, I picked out a dark, moody shade and proceeded to not just paint the walls but also the ceiling and trim. By painting everything I was hoping to minimize some of her flaws and give her a little sophistication and class. I also chose some graphic and bold bedding to add contrast and detract from them even more by drawing your eye to the bed rather than the walls. Mostly it worked. Her flaws were still there, but less obvious.
Lipstick on a pig as they say.