My goal and dream is to turn my photography business into a full time career, but until than I have to work a part time job. A job that I don't particularly care for and really kind of hate.
For months I would go to sleep depressed and wake up angry. I was frustrated that my business hadn't grown as fast as I thought it would, and I was tired of facing all the drama at work. I knew my attitude needed to change, but most of the time I refused to change it.
God was and has been working in my heart, though, and slowly I started trying to focus on choosing gratitude and focusing on all of the blessings in my life instead of what I didn't have or things that hadn't gone my way. That's when #projectchoosinggratitude was born. (you can read about it here)
Right after I started this personal project for myself, I visited the ladies Sunday School class at our church which I had never done before. And yep, you can guess, they were talking about gratefulness. Specifically, the video series they were watching drew their lesson from when God provided the Israelites with manna in the wilderness.
Just for some background, first the Israelites were complaining that they didn't have food, and than they were complaining about the food that God provided them with and even started wishing they were back in slavery in Egypt.
Pretty much i found myself being one of those Israelites. I remember the stress of putting in for jobs and searching, and God literally dropped this job in my lap. I wasn't trying to get the job I have now. I was trying to get out of it. But the company called me, I got an interview, and I got the job. But I didn't just get the job. I got a great manager who was supportive and excited about my dreams and gave me the exact schedule I had been hoping for. I only have to drive 10-15 minutes a day to get to and from work. I have benefits and lots of payed time off. It's everything I was looking for in a job. I just didn't like the job.
It wasn't too long before I forgot that God had given me all the things in a job that I had been hoping for in order to put more time into my photography business. One of the ladies in the Sunday School class asked what we thought the manna in our lives was, and it hit me that this job was my manna. It was what I needed and longed for at one point (and still need), I was just tired of it and burnt out. That Sunday school lesson gave me a perspective shift.
Do I still get frustrated and a little depressed because I don't know how long I'll have to keep at this job until I can run my business full time? Yes. But now, every day, especially those days I have to get up and leave for work, I make a conscious effort to be grateful for my job and all that God has provided me in it. I still struggle, but I am a lot happier. This job has allowed me to almost completely pay off my school loans and meet some pretty amazing people that I never would have know otherwise. I don't know how long I'm going to have to stay at this job, but today I choose to eat my manna and be grateful.
What is your manna?